Name: The sex break.
Age: Perennial.
Appearance: Surprisingly frequent.
Taking a break to have sex? You mean like at work? This is taking a break from sex.
What? Who wants to do that? Er, 24% of American adults, according to a new survey.
Why? Reasons vary, from “wanting to learn other forms of intimacy” to favouring “emotional closeness over physical connection”.
All I’ll say to that is: be careful what you wish for, survey respondents. In addition, 52% of the 2,000 adults surveyed said they had previously taken an extended break from sex, lasting six months on average.
So? I’ve managed that – and then some. I think they mean on purpose.
Everybody says it was on purpose afterwards. Who commissioned this survey? The sexual wellness brand Lelo.
What does “sexual wellness” mean? They sell vibrators, mainly.
Sounds as if they have a vested interest in these survey results. “Taking breaks from sex or focusing on other forms of physical intimacy can actually enhance a sex life,” says Lelo’s chief marketing officer, Luka Matutinovic.
Oh yeah? How? “By reducing pressure and fostering exploration, as well as introducing new additions to your routine, like sex toys …”
I knew it. In any case, most of those who had taken a sex sabbatical were very positive about it: 53% said it helped them appreciate sex more.
It will tend to do that. But it’s not all good news.
None of this is good news so far. According to the survey, 30% of Americans believe romance is dead.
I’m not surprised – what’s the point? Fortunately, 69% of those not in relationships said they were happy being single.
Good for them. What about the ones who are in a relationship? Forty-seven per cent of them said it can be healthy for a couple to have a sex break.
Oh my word. On the other hand, 44% said their relationship wouldn’t last a year without sex.
Oh, naive respondents – you might surprise yourselves. Indeed.
So if Americans are taking sex breaks and sabbaticals intentionally, does that mean they’re having less sex than they used to? The latter assertion seems unquestionable – the percentage of American men and women not having sex has risen by every measure since 1982.
That’s quite an alarming statistic. Not if you own a vibrator company.
Do say: “Oh look, Newsnight’s on.”
Don’t say: “Could we try taking a break from taking a break?”