On paper, Shark! Celebrity Infested Waters sounds as if television has evolved into a more extreme, more dangerous beast. If you think I’m A Celebrity’s snakey, spidery hellholes are too soft on famous people, get a mouthful of this. Seven famous people, each with varying degrees of phobias about sharks, open water or both, will be thrown into the ocean, ie the natural habitat of sharks, those magnificent apex predators. Could this be the way Lenny Henry goes out?
Disappointingly, it turns out to be far more sensational in concept than execution. The show is timed to mark the 50th anniversary of Jaws, the film which cemented a fear of sharks in the imaginations of the general public. The idea is to correct the record and adjust perceptions of a creature that has come to be seen as “public enemy number one”.
Anyone who sees that exclamation mark in the title and tunes in expecting a high-stakes version of Splash!, the campy ITV reality show in which the Olympian gold medallist Tom Daley taught a bejewelled Gemma Collins to dive off a not-very-lofty board, will be crushed. Shark! uses celebrities as a way in to a series that is really about conservation. That may be why the celebrities are on the more respectable side – none of your reality TV alumni here – and why it moves at a sedate pace, even when there is a serious possibility of comedian Ross Noble getting his foot nibbled in the mangroves.
It is difficult to imagine what first attracted the celebrities to the prospect of a TV show requiring a decent stint in the Bahamas. I can’t quite put my finger on why they would sign up. Most are there to conquer their fears, while one or two simply seem keen on the idea of an adventure, and vaguely reach for a discomfort that they can overcome on telly. Joining Henry and Noble are Amandaland’s Lucy Punch, McFly’s Dougie Poynter, Paralympian and presenter Ade Adepitan, Countdown’s Rachel Riley and Helen George from Call the Midwife. Presumably Gemma Collins couldn’t find a wetsuit sparkly enough.
George is the character to watch. She is anxious and visibly terrified before she even dons her flippers, attributing what appears to be a debilitating fear of water to an incident in a swimming pool as a child. (Similarly, Henry explains that he almost drowned when he was in primary school, making him a reluctant swimmer.) She is the one who would be voted for in every task in week one of I’m a Celebrity, and the fear she displays is so palpable that you can’t help but feel for her. What she pushes herself to do, despite her terror, is extraordinary.
Ultimately, though, the sharks upstage the celebrities. No wonder they get top billing. This is a nature documentary by stealth, and a plea for respect for these ancient fish. The Bahamas are the shark capital of the world, we are told. They are a vital aspect of the ocean’s ecosystem, and many species are at risk of extinction. The three experts on hand to help soothe the celebrities into the water are fantastic, but my favourite is Paul, an ex-military Australian who lost a leg and a hand in a shark attack and subsequently dedicated his life to the conservation of sharks. He describes the attack in gory detail as the celebrities go quiet, but Paul is adamant that it is shark extinction, not sharks themselves, that is the real danger to humanity.
For a show about predators, Shark! is surprisingly calm, the progress slow and as safe as it can possibly be. There is no voting off here, says scientist Tristan, only teamwork. They will “go on this journey together”. First, they lower themselves into shark cages, in a dock frequented by bull sharks, which are number three on the list of best-known species, behind tiger sharks and the mighty great white. Pound for pound, bull sharks have the strongest bite of any shark, which makes them an ideal starter species for the celebrities. Later, the celebrities feed stingrays, the cousins of sharks, then stand in a mangrove as lemon sharks swoop around their legs. One celebrity asks if they could be bitten. “Hopefully not,” says Tristan, which is less reassuring than he thinks.
These experiences look wonderful and transformative for the celebrities. For viewers, it may have the faint ring of looking through someone else’s holiday videos and snaps when you don’t know them very well. But as a gentle corrective to the villainy of Jaws’ mechanical monster, and an alternative take on the nature documentary, this is quite lovely.